Our Pet Policy: Because You're Bringing a Pet, Not Your Family
Here at Uninvited Guest Services, we understand that pets are like tiny overlords, demanding attention and worship at all hours of the day. That's why we've established a comprehensive pet policy to ensure your furry friend's needs are met, even when you're not around to do so yourself.
- Our in-house pet butlers will cater to your pet's every whim, including but not limited to:
- Feeding them treats from the finest artisanal pet food factories.
- Grooming them with the latest in pet fashion trends.
- Playing with them for hours on end, because, let's face it, you probably won't.
- Even providing them with their own miniature beds and pillows, because, well, you're clearly not doing your job.
However, please note that our pet policy does not include:
- Actually paying for any of these services, you're still on the hook for that.
- Cleaning up after your pet's messes, we're not your personal janitor.
- Getting rid of your pet when it becomes sentient and starts demanding world domination, we're not your personal exorcist.